An Exotic Place

Professor: “Anybody going to an exotic place over the break?”

Me: “My bed.”

Graduation Speech that I’ve Never Make

It’s done. I finally made it.

In the last four years, I have seeked opportunities and accomplished many things, but nothing compares to the personal development- the unseen portion of my resume. There have been incredible highs and lows, but with each hill and valley, I learned valuable lessons that I will carry with me as I continue on this journey called life.

If I were to have 3 main takeaways, this is what they would be.

1. Persevere and take action in your beliefs and your values. Yes, the path may be unclear, and one may not know where the path leads to. But as we, college graduates, continue to live and most importantly LEARN with each different experience, the path will become more evident and eventually we will be where we need to be.
2. Choose yourself over and over again because at the end of the day, you have to show up for yourself. No one can do that for you. Not your parents, not your significant other, not your friends. These people are here to (hopefully) support you during the rough times, but you are the one in charge of your path. You have to do the things that are good for yourself in order to be successful in your own eyes.
3. Lean on the people that are open to discussing your decisions and actively listen to what you have to say. They will be the ones to gently suggest other avenues and hear you out as you figure out your way. Lean on the friends that will make you laugh when times are tough.

During this transition from graduation to full adulthood, I received unsolicited advice and uncalled-for remarks, especially since I’ve decided to take a non-straightforward path. These people are well intentioned, but it puts unnecessary stress on the person and it’s not really a discussion. It’s a more “you’re wrong, I’m right” type of conversation. Assumptions are made that may not be correct, and the advice comes from their own life experiences rather than from the perspective of the person who’s receiving the advice. Before giving advice, consider first if the person asked for guidance. As someone who is driven and motivated to find information and seek people out for answers, I found this to be a very frustrating process, but a journey in which I grew tremendously and stayed true to myself despite opposition.

Cheers to a new chapter in life! The future is bright, and I’m excited to see what’s next for me. Whether it be bad or good, I know that I will grow with whatever comes my way 🙂

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Update from Story of Frustration

Finally, I had not one but two offers in entry level positions to the road of business management. After 100+ applications, countless interviews, networking with others, and asking questions, I made it. I have the title that I want and a company that I would like to work for.

Now it’s time to see if this is something that I want to do as a career.

My Story of Frustration

I’ve been applying since March, and now it’s August. I’ve had at least 2 interviews each month, and I’ve yet to land anything substantial. I’m tired of people looking down on the decision to take a curved path. I promise I know the trajectory that I want to have. I’m tired of the low pay. I just need someone to take a chance and see that I can do it. I need someone to look beyond the resume. I’m tired of interviewing and getting close and then not making the cut. Sometimes it does feel like a waste of 4 years, but I know it’s not. The path would have been easier if I switched to something different and decided to do so earlier. But now, I’m here.

My story: I’ve always been unsure about the healthcare provider route, but I felt the pressure to do so. Because I had my taste of engineering, coding, the traditional respectable routes, and didn’t really vibe with it, naturally I was to do something in healthcare. What do people think of when they hear the word “healthcare”? Do something as a doctor or nurse.

So naturally that is the path I decided to take even though I was unsure about it. However, I felt too far into the path, and I did not want to have the conversation with my parent that I wanted to do something different. My mother freaks out at anything that involves change so I continued on, hoping that I can fake it till I make it. I eventually switched to being a PA, but again, I knew deep down it wasn’t for me because I knew that I would want to be in a top position. Through my interviews and experiences, I came to realize that what I want to do is be a coordinator of some sort and impact others in this respect rather than directly working on a patient.

But alas, here I am with science classes under my belt and no technical skills to my degree. I also made the mistake of staying too long at the clinic because I have too narrow of a skill set now. The general rule is to spend 2 years in an entry level position and then get back out; I did 3 years. Why did I stay? Because it was comfortable and I said that I would. I know that I don’t owe them anything, and it’s a mistake that I won’t do again the future.

So let’s not dwell on the past because what’s done is done. Moving forward, I’m a little older and wiser. I know more things such as how to ask for raise, negotiate, tailor resumes, prepare for interview questions, etc. I know that after entry level positions, don’t stay for more than 5 years unless it’s a fortune 500 company. This is testing my resilience and patience. Soon, I hope that I’ll land a job that I will enjoy and pays well.

Ramzi Appreciation Post

Happy birthday to my man, and I just wanted to share with everyone that I appreciate you so so much! Even when you were working full time hours and balancing it with a full courseload, you never failed to make the hour drive once a week to spend time with me. You would do little miscellaneous things (i.e. washing dishes, cooking food, laundry, this list could go on and on) to make my life easier even when I would try to stop you. You’re sweet and thoughtful, and I’m reminded again and again how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Happy to be with you, and I’m excited to see what else you are going to accomplish, old man 🙂 Cheers to another year of life and hopefully many more to build memories together.

Birthday Letter to Claudia

Hey girl,

Happy birthday, what an interesting year it has been. Food for thought: your birthday marks the beginning of COVID shutdowns LOL rip. But anyways, hope you are (or were if this gets to you after your birthday) able to celebrate your birthday in a joyous way.

From laughing about the bois to instagram creeping to analyzing our families, it has been nice to be on the similar wavelengths and connect with one another. When we do chat, we pick up where we left off. Thanks for being part of my life and weathering the different chapters/ seasons that I have gone through. You’ve been there, and I appreciate that.

Cheers to another year of life 🙂

Sticky note: i know jobs and such have been a big deal for you, I think this “work happy” notebook will resonate with you

Anything New and Exciting Part 2 (August 2020- December 2020)

1. I made it a goal this semester to do a new outing every other week or at least every month. I realized that if I didn’t make it a goal to do so, I would keep pushing it back and not make the time to go out. I’ve explored Richardson Farmer’s Market, Legacy West shops, Dallas Farmer’s Market, and Bishop Arts District. Tried to go to a pumpkin patch but there were no pumpkins loll
2. I started doing a mood tracker/habit tracker. He’s called Neiko the Notebook. It was something I wanted to do for a while, and now I’ve done that. I’m going to keep up with it because it gives me pleasure to see the boxes colored or highlighted in. I also write in 3 sentences of gratitude at the end of week, which I think helps me appreciate the little pleasures of life.
3. I started an insta accouunt! At first, I was thinking of using it as a wellness account, but actually, it’s morphed into something I want to do in order to document what’s been going on in my life and what I enjoy about it.
4. I’ve been much more active about making new friends and keeping up with old ones, and it’s been fun. I’ve been able to virtually study with others or go out to different places with them (masks on!). Usually, I initiate, and from there whether they accept or not, I do/do not follow up. I have a routine to hang out with others on Friday and Saturday; phone chats and virtual hang outs are variable throughout the week.
5. As of lately at work, I’ve been able to take on more duties/responsibilities, which is nice. For the health educator job, I + co-workers planned 2 virtual events (not easy to do). I joined the social media team for SWC, and although frustrating at times, I’ve been able to learn how to make simple graphics and marketing tips.
6. I started learning about stocks, and I invested in a different company each month.
7. I made appointments with the financial and career center to learn more in order to set me up for the future.
8. I see a therapist/counselor every other week, and this is something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I pay to see one, but since I value mental and emotional health and place my well-being as the first priority, I’m willing to do so.
9. I made a list of hikes/nature places that I want to visit, and I’m planning to do so every month or so to do a hike for a couple of hours.
10. I went on my first day trip/hike, and I think I know what my new hobby is going to be this year.

It’s been a lot of personal development since August, and I’m really happy with the progress I’ve been making. I know there’s more to come. Excited to see what the next semester will bring.

Inspiration to Others

I learned that I’ve been looked up at/served as an inspiration to three people this latter half of the year: one at the gym, one from tutoring on campus, and one from campus job.

It feels really nice. The one at gym asked me to help and show her how to use a certain machine. I was flattered because I know I look kinda intimidating (i.e. got a cap on, earbuds in, squinting at stuff bc I don’t have my glasses on) and it’s COVID season so it’s the assumption that no one wants to interact with each other. But she was brave and initiated contact, and I’m greatly flattered by that. I learned that the one from tutoring was inspired because I helped her a bunch and seemed knowledgeable about the subject (i’ve lost that knowledge now haha haven’t used it in a while lolll rip brain). There were times that I felt not that knowledgeable, and so, it’s nice to know that she perceived me in a positive manner, and I’m glad that I was available when she needed help. And now, she’s a tutor herself 🙂 I learned that the one from job looks up at me for my ability to lead the team when planning/executing events and staying organized.

I know I’ve written this somewhere before, but one of the goals in life for me is to impact? grow? myself and hopefully impact others in a positive way. I know for myself that I have had much personal development these past few years. It’s great to know that I’ve been fulfilling the other second component of that goal- positively impacting others.

I’m in Charge of My Own Happiness

Happiness, in the end, is a mind-set to be cultivated, not a condition to be imposed. Happy people devote time to family and friends. They practice gratitude. They practice optimism. They are physically active. They “savor life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment,” as Lyubomirsky puts it.

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I’m charge of my own happiness. No one can give that to me, and no one will be able to. If set the expectation that something/someone will make me happy, I know that I will be disappointed in the future. Happiness comes from within. It comes from filling fulfilled in life. It comes from the internal qualities I know about myself. Different experiences, significant others, and other people certainly enhance my own happiness, but my state of contentment comes from within. I know who I am; I’m a young woman who’s dedicated and focused on the work before me; I’m laying down the groundwork to further my goals for the future.

What are my goals in the future within the next five years? To become fully financially independent, pursue a career that allows me to promote overall wellness, and cook better as well as live in a nice apartment for myself. There’s more, but these are the top three for me currently- finances, career, and lifestyle/relationships. I know that for myself, I need to stabilize the finances and career part before I can pursue something long lasting. I’m still laying down the groundwork for these two areas, and it may take me some time, but that is ok. I’m working on myself, and I’m learning how to care for myself properly because I want to be able to handle myself first before adding another human being into my life.

COVID Scare

In the past three weeks, two of my co-workers positive for COVID, and I’ve had to get tested 4 times since then. Thankfully, all of my tests have come back negative. However, it was a nerve-wrecking experience.

One of my tests showed a line indicating that I was negative for COVID, but there was also a very faint line at the IgM antibody, which represents an active COVID infection. The physician said that it’s a negative test, but then the nurse told me that I should get a nasal swab test done as well to make sure that I am truly negative for COVID. The test results from a nasal swab takes about 2-3 days, and so during this time, I had to be really careful around others (i.e. wearing mask inside apartment, eating in my room rather than common area, not going over to people’s places).

It sucks yo. I missed the little in-person interactions I would have when not quarantining. Luckily, I was able to chill/study with people virtually and connect in that manner, but it’s not the same. Since my test came back negative, I’m able to go back to in-person interactions. I can definitely see how people can feel isolated and lonely in quarantine.

Super appreciative of the people that I was able to connect with during that small period of time of quarantining.

Uncertainty

Lately, I’ve been thinking about more about what I will be doing after my senior year, and the uncertainty is somewhat scary. It’s scary because I don’t necessarily know what to expect. It causes me to have some anxiousness because I’m not too sure what the next step should be. Currently, I have a list of potential jobs to look for after graduation, which gives me something to work on. I took a career assessment that is offered by the school, and interestingly, none of the typical healthcare careers (i.e. doctor, nurse, PA) showed up in my profile. It got me wondering if I’m built to have a career in the healthcare field. Granted, these assessments only provide a guideline, but still it’s concerning. What if I spent the last 4 years pursuing something that I don’t actually want to do? Where do I begin if this is not it?

And you know, I’m learning that it will be ok. It’s ok to not know what the next step will bring as long as I have a skeleton plan of what I’ll do moving forward. It’s ok to have uncertainty. I know it makes me nervous because I am an organized and goal-oriented person, and not knowing what’s next is contrary to my personality. But it’ll be ok in the long run.