It seems surreal that college is actually going to happen. My time in high school (and I guess before that too) was spent preparing to go to a good college. I feel somewhat excited but also apprehensive. Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown? After all, this is new territory. I won’t be with people that I know from previous years- a new beginning.
tabula rasa- an opportunity for a fresh start; clean slate
For a long time now, I’ve wanted to go off to college to leave high school behind. I felt confined in the identity that I had become in high school. I grew frustrated that one aspect of me was being emphasized rather than the whole person that I am. The feeling has lessened now, but I still would like to have fresh start. The idea of being a clean slate appeals to me. Meeting others without them knowing who I was gives them an unbiased holistic view of me.
What I was defined by is not bad and is in fact a good thing, but that aspect of me is what most people tended to focused on. I am not just that one element; I am a multiple of elements that make me a collective whole. Some perceived me as a person with an identity outside of that one aspect. I am grateful for them because they looked beyond and took the effort to know me, the true me.
Dm Am Cm Gm
Dm Gm C F
Disaster was written all over it
I’ve created a mess, how did I let it get so far
I’m to blame and I know it
How does one mend a heart?
Dm Gm C F
I need to let go, not hold on
But here I am, not moving on
Waiting for something that might not be there is a dangerous game to play
Some wishes can never come true
No matter how hard we try
Blind to the flaws and dangers
Following the heart is not always good
Dm Am Cm Gm
Woe to us, forgive me
Accept this apology, mhmm
Sometimes even when both parties want the other person/relationship, it doesn’t work. My previous SO and I broke up not because we didn’t like each other but because I recognized how different we were in goals, lifestyles, and place s in life. I wasn’t sure if we would be able to reconcile the differences between us. After a long talk where we both shared our perspectives, he agreed with me, and we made a very hard decision to let go of each other even though we liked each other a lot.
Many people believe that love can hold everything together. To a certain degree, it does. But I believe love by itself can’t make things all possible no matter how hard people try and/or no matter how badly they want the relationship to work. If have significantly different goals, lifestyles, or at very different places in life, a relationship will not work.
Why does it matter so much to have these same qualities in addition to love? As a couple, you’re suppose to work as a team. How will you and your significant other be able to do so if have fundamentally different ways or views in pursing a fulfilling life? In the end, one or both partners will be unsatisfied in the relationship.
Unfortunately, romantic movies give false expectations (talked about in an earlier post) and skews how love in relationships actually looks like. It’s ok to have differences but the fundamental values should line up with each other or have the flexibility to respect the differences.
This topic came up a long time ago with one of my cousins. She was talking about how later on (during/after college) her guy best friends during high school had come up to her, told her that they liked her, and would like to date her now. She responded by saying that she did like them during high school, but now the feelings are no longer the same. Then she said to me, “I learned that guys and girls can’t be best friends without one or both eventually falling for each other.”
I would say the majority of opposite gender best friends do end up liking the other person or at least imagine the person as their significant other at some point. However, I think it is possible to have a close platonic relationship with the opposite sex. I feel that this generally happens after someone gets turned down, goes through a period of awkwardness, and then the friendship resumes again. Maybe there are still feelings but no longer as intense since they got shut downed. Also, I think this can happen when they have been friends for a very long time. After a while, they start viewing each other as siblings rather than romantic interests.
For about a week, my parents and I toured in 3 countries: Hungary, Austria, and Germany. The scenery is beautiful, and there’s much history in these countries.
Random fact: you have to pay to go to the bathroom in many places.