Person A: What do you fear the most?
Person B: My greatest fear is unintentionally hurting someone in a mental or emotional way. I generally do not have malicious intents for the people I care about and like to perceive myself as a kind person. Based on previous experience, it is a painful event for people on both sides of the situation.
Person A: Have you learned from that event?
Person B: Yes, I have. I’m going to try my best to not let that happen again.
Person A: What would you want those people or person to know?
Person B: I want them to know that I feel incredibly sad and guilty, and I hope that they will move on. Even if it means that they stay angry at me for a long time, I will accept that if that helps them move past this event. I only wish the best for them and hope that they find what they’re looking for. I hope that one day they view this as a distant memory, no longer feel the heartache, and come to peace with what has happened.
“And if there’s one thing I believe more than I believe anything else, it’s that you can’t fake the core. The truth that lives there will eventually win out. It’s a god we must obey, a force that brings us all inevitably to our knees. Will you do it later or will you do it now?”
I’ve been trying out different clubs and going to their general meetings this past week. In the clubs that I attended, many of the officers are wanting to attend medical school. It scares me that there’s a lot of talk about certain activities or events looking good for the resume. It also somewhat saddens me because I feel that there’s an ulterior motive behind participating in the club. I’m being hypocritical though because I’m also doing the clubs with the same ulterior motive (aka looking good on the resume).
What I realized is that going to medical school is like applying for college but more intense and on a bigger scale. You have to maintain a high GPA, do volunteering, have extracurricular activities, and take the MCAT. Internally, I sigh because it seems like the studying and preparation keeps on going. I feel that I’ll never be able to get out of that type of environment for a long time if I decide to go down the medical career path. Already, the pressure to do things for medical school is upon me.
So why do people put themselves through the arduous journey of becoming a doctor? It’s not for the money. There’s easier ways to make a lot of money without becoming a doctor.
Why will I put myself through a mental and physical torture? But more importantly, do I even have the endurance and patience to become a doctor?
I survived the first week of college!! So many events happened, and I met many clubs (currently have a pile of flyers sitting on my desk). Sadly, I didn’t get any free t-shirts, but I did get free food.
My classes so far have been not too difficult (as of for now), except for calculus. Even though I took AP Calculus, the material that’s being covered is not familiar to me, and the professor goes pretty fast. I think my favorite class so far is the introduction to psychology class. The professor is passionate about her work, and we are similar in that we both are interested in behavior. It’s just great and refreshing to finally see a person who’s passionate about something that I’m genuinely interested in, unlike the teachers in high school who got stuck with teaching a psychology class and didn’t really care for the subject.
To me, college feels like high school but on a bigger scale. But there are some big differences. Now I can nap between classes, which is great. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only have 2 classes. The cafeteria food is better. There’s definitely more freedom to do things. For example, I walked by myself to the rec center to workout around 9:00 pm. My parents would probably not allow me to do that because 1) viewed as dangerous be out by myself at night and 2) don’t need to work out that late. Those are the main differences that I can think of.
Overall, the experience has been good so far. I’m enjoying this much more than high school.
Moving in and orientation are tiring events. A lot of information gets thrown at you. The first day was somewhat intimidating because it’s a new environment that is quite big, and I didn’t really know anyone that well. I missed the things that were familiar to me such as the bed. Actually that might be it. After a while, I got used to chilling by myself or maybe it’s easier for me because I’m an introvert and need a lot of alone time.
What I realized is that everyone is looking for a friend/a familiar face/ to fit in. Everyone is pretty receptive I think. There’s a lot of walking around, and you make a friend if you’re willing to be sociable.
It seems surreal that college is actually going to happen. My time in high school (and I guess before that too) was spent preparing to go to a good college. I feel somewhat excited but also apprehensive. Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown? After all, this is new territory. I won’t be with people that I know from previous years- a new beginning.