Believe it or not, even though UTD is known as the academic school, there’s still quite a few parties that go on behind the scenes. Someone asked me what I was most surprised about college, and honestly, I am very surprised how many people drink. I used to not understand why people drink, but now I get where people are coming from.
The two reasons that I have observed are peer pressure and escape from reality. Everyone else is drinking, so I must drink also to fit in. As many people know, alcohol allows for a break in reality. To temporarily forget the mishaps and mistakes from earlier in the day or week is something that many people like to have. People just want to have fun and not worry about real life, which is what alcohol does.
It seems like everyone has some sort of opportunity lined up or know what’s going on. Am I the only incompetent one? Everyone seems to quickly understand the concepts. I have trouble and need additional practice to get things right. Even then, I’m not up to speed.
Realistically, I know that I’m not the only one that feels this way, but it can be isolating. It feels like being left behind on an island. Everyone else has boarded the ship and sailed away, but they forget that they left you behind. You watch from the edge, maybe even swim a little bit towards the ship, but each stroke forward seems to only cause you to move further away. I’m stuck on the island of mediocrity.
Is everyone destined for greatness? I don’t think everyone can be extraordinary because then extraordinary becomes ordinary. This is the category I fall under: not destined for greatness. As it is said, there will be winners, and there will be losers.
Professor: “Anybody going to an exotic place over the break?”
Me: “My bed.”
Who will win: your conscience or the desire of whatever is happening?
It’s a tug of war game, and it doesn’t feel all that great.
People say that college is the time to test the boundaries. But no one really says that there’s no going back once boundaries have been passed. Will I regret the choices that I have made? Only time can tell. Regardless of the outcome, as long as I learn from the decisions I’ve made, I think I’ll come out alright.
In college, the living space is more confined so it’s common to be physically close to your friends. It used to bother me a bit because I’m not a very touchy person, but having skin to skin contact is a a nice cozy feeling.
I used to not understand how people can start dating so quickly after knowing each other for such a short period of time, but I think I do now. Because everything is physically closer in college (except certain classes), I can see how people can become fast friends and expedite the process of knowing one another. All your friends are just a quick walk two to five minute walk from your room, and it’s common to see them everyday including weekends, eat together, and stay up with them until the wee hours in the morning.
Smaller environment equates to a nice comfortable close feeling.
Person A: What do you fear the most?
Person B: My greatest fear is unintentionally hurting someone in a mental or emotional way. I generally do not have malicious intents for the people I care about and like to perceive myself as a kind person. Based on previous experience, it is a painful event for people on both sides of the situation.
Person A: Have you learned from that event?
Person B: Yes, I have. I’m going to try my best to not let that happen again.
Person A: What would you want those people or person to know?
Person B: I want them to know that I feel incredibly sad and guilty, and I hope that they will move on. Even if it means that they stay angry at me for a long time, I will accept that if that helps them move past this event. I only wish the best for them and hope that they find what they’re looking for. I hope that one day they view this as a distant memory, no longer feel the heartache, and come to peace with what has happened.